—Don’t defend him.
Susan remained silent.
Then he sat down in a chair and told me something that wasn’t in the letter.
—I fell in love with him.
The room fell completely silent.
—And him?
Susan looked down at the ground.
—I thought he loved me too. But when I told him I had to choose, he ended everything that same day. He said he would never leave you.
Was that supposed to comfort me?
He didn’t.
I asked him:
—Then why did you stay in my life for another twelve years?
He didn’t respond for a long time.
Finally he said:
—Because I had already lost my marriage. I had lost Michael. If I lost you too, I would have nothing left. And yes, it was selfish.
For the first time, I wasn’t looking for excuses.
Susan told me that, over the years, the shame she felt every time
